I had a 1v1 call with a player in our Academy the other day. She had been cut by 3 teams, was waiting for an answer from another, and had a “yes” from a junior team that to some, may not be regarded as a high level team who would be able to help her get to that next level — college. 

Being cut by the teams she wanted to play for left her feeling hopeless, frustrated, even defeated like she had failed.

I asked her what kinds of thoughts she was having since being cut from these teams. She replied, “it’s overwhelming. I’m tired of not being able to make a team and I feel like I’m letting everyone down”.

We dug deeper.

“Who are you letting down?” To which she replied, “my parents, family and everyone else who has helped me get this far”.

When we hear these types of responses, nine times out of ten, a players motivation for wanting to play in college stem from pleasing those around them instead of doing what they want to do.

So, we dug even deeper.

I asked her if there was a part of her that didn’t want to play hockey anymore …

“A little bit. I am a high level referee, so if I didn’t play, I’d be able to focus more on being a referee and they want to advance me up the ladder quickly.”

Ok, we are getting somewhere, I’m thinking. 

We dove deeper.

I then asked her if she had to pick, today, between being a referee or playing, which would it be?

Without hesitation she said being a referee and explained how her dream is to ref in the Olympics one day.


There it is! For the first time she said out loud, and maybe even to herself, what SHE wanted. Instantly her energy went from hopeless to excited.

Point of the story? We create our own reality by the thoughts we think. And, until you get crystal clear on what it is that YOU want, you will always do what you THINK others expect you to do/be. You have to stand firm in who you are, your dreams, and then not allow anyone to steer you away from either.

How do you know if you’re in alignment with you/your dreams? Simple … it will FEEL good!

If you’re not vibrating at a frequency that emits happiness, courage, or even excitement, you need to stop, dig deeper and think about why. Are you living your dream or someone else’s? 

At the end of the conversation, we found a solution that would allow her to continue to play hockey next season while simultaneously allowing her to continue to pursue her career as a ref.

Be conscious of the thoughts you think as they literally create your reality.

Want our help?

Book a FREE call with us today!

Related Blog Posts